COLLEGE ADVICE: The Expert’s Guide to Having a Roommate in College

I love my suite; it really does feel like a home away from home. Recently, we stayed up until 2am just chatting, we have a Sunday movie night every night, and hugs and forehead kisses abound. But we also have disagreements or issues about who should buy more snacks or whose trash week it is. So here’s my list of advice for living with others and how to overcome those disagreements.

• 1. Establish a list of “suite rules”. They don’t need to feel harsh. For example, one suitemate doesn’t like people wearing shoes into their room so now we know, and we won’t do that. Another had food they wanted to share with us and some food just for them. It’s really important to just talk about what you like and how you want your roommates to treat you.
• 2. Disagreements will come up. They’ll probably come up more frequently than in high school. After all, now you’re living with people that you ordinarily would just see during the school day. My first quick tips for resolving roommate disagreements is to talk to someone else first, maybe a parent or a college friend or a sibling. In talking through it with someone else you can get past the rant and the ugh I can’t stand you and focus on what you’re really upset about and how we can resolve that. Also talk to the person one on one. If you try to talk to them with the whole suite/group around then it could get awkward and it might feel like a confrontation which is never fun.
• 3. You don’t have to be friends with your roommates. Especially if you’re randomly assigned a roommate, you just need to get along with them. They don’t need to be your best friend or feel like a second family; it’s just important that your room and your space feels comfortable, safe, and home-y.

Most of these are pretty basic tips because at the end of the day, it’s just the same interactions as in the rest of your life. So maybe think of it as this. And remember that you deserve to feel comfortable in your space and the others around you should respect that.

- Margaret Hankins